Self Knowledge- How to Know Who You Really Are

Self Knowledge is one of the most important foundations to building a better self-esteem.  Without knowledge of self it is impossible to make the needed adjustments in your life.  Self-knowledge helps you to know what makes you tick and why you are inclined to behave the way you do. This being said, how can you find out who you truly are?

Experience

The best way to acquire self-knowledge is through your experiences.  As Sydney Smith said, “To do anything in this world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.”  Therefore, by getting involved in different activities you will begin to understand your likes and dislikes, what makes you cheerful or depressed. 

A woman looking for a mate learns what she prefers in a man by dating.  By observing different personalities she gains self-knowledge, what she likes and dislikes about a man.  She can then make her decision based on a certain set of standards that she has set for herself.

A child gains self-knowledge of his skills by participating in various activities such as sports clubs, arts, crafts, or volunteer work.  These activities teach the child what they excel in and enjoy the most.

That is why it is essential to always live a life of productivity.  Participate in as many activities as possible.  This is how self knowledge increases. Then you can make adjustments to build your self-esteem.  Your self esteem will grow especially when you indulge yourself in experiences that you have the passion and talent for.  This triggers a sense of pride and accomplishment because you know that you are capable of doing great things.

Now that you know that experience is one of the key to self-knowledge let’s explore another avenue that is equally effective.

Observation

Sometimes you might overlook certain aspects of yourself.  You go through life without knowledge of this part of the self until you notice a friend or other has the same trait or habit.  You observe and say, “Wow! I didn’t know that about myself.”  This often occurs with children once they have reached adulthood.  As time passes they realize that the same habits that they couldn’t stand about their parents often surface without knowledge.  Their actions, many times, catch them by surprise.  Sometimes low self esteem might even be caused by the habits that you observe in your parents.  Once these habits are realized, however, you can make the necessary adjustments to avoid those negative traits or habits.

However, you would not have known about these flaws without some reflection.  Therefore, it is important to take the time to observe others actions and personalities.  Then you will gain a true understanding of yourself.

 Feedback

In other situations you will get feedback from what others observe about you that you were not aware of.  This can be the most difficult of all the methods of gaining self-knowledge, especially when it is negative.   Instead of instantly denying and becoming defensive take an honest look at yourself.  Is what they are saying legitimate?  If so, you now have a better understanding of yourself and what you need to work on.  If not, just dismiss what they are saying.

Remember that growth is a necessary part of building self esteem but you have to know what to work on.  Self-knowledge will help you to do this.  Experience life and be productive.  Observe and listen to people around you.  Doing these things will help you to make positive steps towards your journey for a healthy self esteem.

Overcoming Negativity Can Build Success

Overcoming negativity is a major step towards building your self esteem.  Many of the symptoms of low self esteem such as feelings of unworthiness, lack of self-confidence and depression can be controlled by living a life of positive thinking.

“That initial thought, if given residence in the mind, is the spark that ignites the action.  And success or failure depends on whether that thought is positive or negative.”This quote from Norman Vincent Peale in his book The Power of Positive Living shows the magnitude of our thinking.  This also reveals why so many people with low self esteem fail to excel or live satisfying and fulfilling lives.  The negative thoughts they constantly speak to themselves determine their fate even before the action is taken. 

Thus, if you say to yourself, “I’m not smart enough,” you will subconsciously behave that way.  If you say to yourself, “I’m going to lose” then your chances of winning are slim to none.  Speaking such negativity makes success almost impossible and overcoming difficulties and hardships can end in defeat. On the other hand, thinking, “I am smart” or “I am going to win,” greatly increases your chances of success.

However, many have been practicing this very bad habit of negativity for quite some time.  Overcoming negativity can be difficult for them because it is so deeply rooted in their every thought.  What is the solution? “The best way, I’ve found to eliminate negative thought is to instantly supplant it with a positive thought.”  This is how the once shy and ill confident Norman Peale took control of his negativity.  You can take control as well by making it a practice to think positively.  Sometimes negativity will creep up into your thoughts, but by immediately thinking positively you will eventually begin to think and act in a healthier fashion.

Here is a great story that Dr. Peale told in his Power of Positive Living book.  It shows that overcoming negativity in your life can bring great success.  It starts out with a gentleman who just came out of the army.  He had great intentions to build a better life for himself and his family.  However, the more he tried to build a successful business the more his situation grew out of control. Filled with feelings of negativity he started to gamble his life away and became an addict.  Overcoming his addiction seemed impossible, not to mention that he was now jobless and deeply in debt.  He was on the verge of committing suicide but fortunately decided to end his gambling addiction by joining a support group for addicts.

He eventually gave up his gambling habits and began living a life of positivity.  By overcoming a lifestyle of negativity he was able to get his dignity back and build his self esteem.  He is now a vice president and treasurer of an insurance company.

What an inspiring story!  Instead of taking his life he realized that overcoming negativity was the answer to living a happy and successful life.

No matter how difficult life may be or how many mistakes you have made, overcoming negativity can give you the fulfillment and contentment that you have only dreamed about.  All you have to do is get in the habit of thinking positively at all times.

Low Self Esteem and Depression- What is the Connection

There is a strong connection between low self esteem and depression. One source describes depression as a mental disorder that can make a person feel moody, lose their appetite, feel fatigue. They are also often plagued with guilt or low self esteem. Therefore, a person who exhibits some of the symptoms of depression very often suffers from low self esteem as well.  What are some of the traits that link self esteem with depression

Lack of Self Worth

A number of people who suffer from low self esteem or depression are often lacking in self-worth.  They find it difficult to appreciate and accept themselves. 

Instead, they resort to changing their image.  While change is good, the person with low self esteem or depression is overly consumed by their flaws, causing them to become depressed.  They fail to see the good in themselves and that they are wonderfully made.

In addition, those who suffer from depression and low self esteem may not think very highly of their opinions.  In social settings, they are afraid to tell others what they think about a subject in fear of ridicule.  Their lack of self worth often makes them feel stupid and that their opinions don’t count for anything.

Isolation/ Irrational Thoughts and Feelings

The person plagued with low self esteem and depression often become introverted, isolating themselves from others.  They are in constant fear of being judged negatively by anyone around them so they avoid social settings as much as possible.

These irrational behaviors are due to the constant negative thoughts that pop up into their heads throughout the day.  Positive thinking is very hard for them to incorporate.  They never feel like they are good enough and tell themselves this quite often.  This in turn causes feelings of constant guilt that they are not living up to their responsibilities. 

Generational

In addition, just like low self esteem, depression may be passed on from one generation to the next.  A mother may live her life with low self esteem.  Her daughter observes and adapts the behavior of her mother, sometimes without even knowing it.  Likewise, if her daughter sees her mother suffering from depression for most of her life, this behavior can rub off on her.  The cycle will continue until action is taken to uproot the behavior.

Hopelessness

People with these conditions often look to the future with very little hope, if any.  They undervalue their talents and capabilities and thus live unproductive lives.  They have no hopes and dreams because in their minds success if far out of their reach.  Isolation and hopelessness coupled with the sadness they feel deep within may lead those who suffer with low self esteem or depression to commit suicide.  They find themselves worthless and unworthy of life.

Yes, the connection between low self esteem and depression is very strong.  However, just like depression, low self esteem can be cured.  If you suffer from any of these conditions you can overcome them.  Often times building your self esteem can alleviate your feelings of depression.  Let’s start with eliminating those negative thoughts that fill your head.  This will be a major step in taking control of low self esteem and depression.

Build Self Esteem-Knowing God Can Help

Did you know that a close relationship with God can help to build your self esteem?  You may be skeptical or doubtful about this statement so let me explain how.  Once you understand and truly believe you will be on your way to one of the most life changing experiences of your life.

“For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible… everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him.”  God knows you better than you will ever know yourself.  Of course; that’s because he created every inch of your body, inside and out, from your head to your toes.  He has placed inside of you specific characteristics and talents that are meant to complement you.  Therefore, it makes sense to turn to him for the help you need in building your self esteem.

In addition, the Bible says we were created in God’s perfect image.  This fact alone should help your self esteem to blossom.  If God is a perfect God then how could you be a mistake?  Your eyes; your nose; the shade of your skin; the texture of your hair; your body shape; they are uniquely beautiful and perfect because God made them. Learn to appreciate every inch of your body because God made you this way for a reason.

Acknowledging God’s love for you can also build your self esteem.  “How do I know God loves me?”  You may ask.  Isaiah 46:3-4 says, “I have carried you since you were born; I have taken care of you from your birth.  Even when you are old, I will be the same.  Even when your hair has turned gray, I will take care of you.  I made you and will take care of you.”  Why would God go through so much if he didn’t have such a genuine love for you?  Up until the day you die he will continue to watch and protect you.  That is how much he loves you.  Your self esteem should grow knowing that our all-powerful God loves you so much.

As a matter of fact, God proved his love by sending his heavenly son, Jesus Christ, to die for our sins.  “God loved the world so much that he gave his only begotten son, in order that everyone exercising faith in him might not be destroyed but have everlasting life.”(John 3:16)  God could have destroyed us because of our sinful tendencies.  Instead, he did one of the most difficult things a loving parent could do, allow his only child, his only son to die for our, your sins.  God did this not only to give you a fighting chance at everlasting life but also to demonstrate how strong his love is for you.  Meditate on this fact especially when your self esteem is at its lowest.  It will help you to feel a sense of peace, that you are a worthy individual who deserves to be loved.

By constantly thinking about God’s love for you and what he has done to prove his love time and time again; by allowing this fact to touch your heart, you have no choice but to want to have a close relationship with him.  A close relationship with God will in turn help your self esteem to grow and grow as long as you continue to focus on his love for you at all times.